Hellllloooooo ladiesss, you’re lookin’ good these days. Since you may or may not know, after a few years of developing, dating, and common lesbian tomfoolery,

Katrina C. Danger is actually from the industry.

I’m sure, I am aware, this is shocking/appalling, even as we all envisioned me to lesbian bromance my personal days out for the sunkissed shores of an endless Dinah Shore listed here at my eastern Coast university, but alas, these days of lesbian playerhood aren’t forever, and I also need someone to get my place.

Particularly you.




I view you over truth be told there contemplating getting that pretty new option way of living haircut to draw the ladies. It can be done, and Autostraddle enables. Listed below are some Dos and carry outn’ts for obtaining chicks, KC risk design.

(Sidenote: While Im, actually, a health care provider of these situations as

lesbian bromance

, i would recommend that my assistance with chicks be taken with a grain of salt, as providing suggestions about this kind of thing tends to make myself feel like I’m sporting a ridiculous leopard printing pimp hat.)

Do’s for Getting Chicks:


Create homosexual visual communication.

You-know-what I’m speaing frankly about, bros. It’s that time in which you spot a female outside or from over the space. Something looks different. Possibly this is the additional little bit of swagger or the conspicuous slim denim jeans and Chuck Taylors. Perhaps you overheard their say “Tegan and Sara” or “Turkish petroleum wrestling.”

Perhaps she looked over you firstâ??did she? Really, review!

I understand, this might be a comparatively easy principle, analyzing individuals you are interested in,

but there’s an unique make of eye contact that continues on between two girls who like girls

. It lasts scarcely half another, but that flit of visual communication often means a great deal. Like an understanding or an acknowledgement or account in a (not-so) secret clubâ??a nightclub also known as â??lesbians.’ Its a “you’re homosexual, i am gay” kinda thing. Extremely initial in picking right up girls, but essential, specifically if you’re perhaps not in a specifically queer environment. Gay eye contact allows you to circumvent all those things hassle of inadvertently striking on right ladies. Unless, you are aware, you’re into that kind of thing.

Be self-confident.

Really does that sound cliche? It might, but that’s since it is genuine.

No bodyshould trust your online game if you don’t believe in the video game (even if you’re not the video gaming type)

. And self-confidence, never to end up being confused with cockiness or flashiness, is attractive. It really is persuading. And it is totally visible. Seriously, the person who you’re speaking with is going to study off your own cues, and thus if you are putting your self down or always apologizing, she’s going to believe you really have cause to take action. You are good at something, we promise, so explore that just a little. And even if you should be bad at any such thing, knowâ??not thinkâ??that you are lovely and lovely enough to draw it well. Gamble your talents, and you’ll come of as charming and really worth learning.

End up being subdued.

Such as, don’t arrive together with your shorts off (this just works often). Yeah, you would like this lady to learn you’re into the girl, but there’s no reason to toss your self around anyone. Sometimes it’s enjoyable to-be held speculating. Leaving just a little completely could keep the woman guessing, which means that she will need to keep in touch with you more.

Have actually a signature move.

To get this package off, you’re first gonna have to learn getting self-confident. Figure out what allows you to take a look lovely and do so. I like to smirk and nod. My personal girlfriend seemingly regularly wink to pick up girls. Did you know men and women nonetheless winked? That’s because they do not, so in retrospect it worked.

Make the woman laugh/Say great situations.

You don’t actually should be amusing for this one, as â??charmingly shameful’ often operates as well. This is very convenient because shameful lesbians tend to be a plentiful species. Did you just drop more than yourself after trying to pursue a dropped cigarette smoking into the street? That’s great, laugh it well, it seems as you achieved it purposely. As much as stating nice things get, that’s rather self-explanatory. Everybody else loves to end up being complimented! Always mean it however. And make certain it’s not as well on the market. “Hey, I like that plaid shirt” is okay. “Hey, you may have great armpits” (it has in fact happened certainly to me) isn’t.


This doesn’t imply grope. This won’t mean yawn and set the arm around or keeping hands inside pouches and maintaining all of them cozy while I’m nevertheless here. What this means is placing your hand on her behalf arm as soon as you laugh or placing your own supply around the woman shoulders (no fake yawning enabled). You don’t have to hurry this part, as achievements inside the remainder of these guidelines can lead to a lot more of this afterwards. Once you know the things I’m sayin’.

Fall Autostraddle’s name.

Autostraddle helps make the panties drop

. The end. Fo reals however, there are only specific things that lesbians love to talk about. Between chatting, laughing, adoring, breathing, combating, etc etc, we are to a lot. Do not be worried to carry it, you’ll probably get multiple laughs.

Get into along with her pals.

Whenever the Spice women told this to infant homosexual KC threat over 10 years in the past, I experienced no idea just how relevant this could be.

Friends understand you over provide them credit for, and they’re usually (usually?) shopping for your best interest. The same goes on her. Besides, birds (gays?) of a feather pick-up chicks together, and you can inform a great deal about a woman by whom she is spending time with.

Go for it.

Do not be timid! Everyone’s at the very least slightly stressed, and besides, what effective could it possibly be attending do you ever if you are merely standing up for the part would love to end up being reached? After all, some girls are this fortunate, but the majority probably are not. You have to take step!

Think about it bros, just by getting out you’re fighting the great battle and resisting the patriarchy an such like. etc. The hard part has already been over!

Hair appears okay, she’s going to completely think you are interesting, today go out truth be told there and grab girls, man.

Carry outn’ts for Getting Girls


Require the woman wide variety unless you in fact mean it.

And don’t say you’ll call back should you decide don’t. This is exactly just tense! There are only numerous occasions it is possible to imagine you used to be in bathroom or failed to hear the telephone ringing or were busy mackin’ on another girl just before at long last have to get and state you aren’t curious. What i’m saying is, you might keep ignoring the phone calls until they’re going out, because sometimes they subsideâ?¦and they generally show up outside your property. Do not get this risk, chances are you’ll finish committing an interrobang!

Also, be seriously interested in the reasons why you might not be phoning some body back.

We never ever also known as this option lady right back because she had a really monotonous name, and I felt that if circumstances worked out, it can appear dumb for the woman listed on my fb profile. That’s where my goals lay, evidently, and this refers to probably the reason why I manage online. Although it felt totally sensible at that time, I realize the absurdity now and really should most likely offer her some sort of public apology and/or a brainstorming program for a cool brand new nickname. My personal point is that if you are interested, you’re curious, if in case you aren’t, you then’re perhaps not. No big issue, just make sure you are not making excuses so that you will need not call back whenever you say you may.

Have actually a small business credit.

There was clearly legitimately a point just last year where I was thinking it might be hilarious to transport for this company credit:

Then I, for whatever reason, believed it would be coequally as good as (or even better!) as a contacting card. We never went through with deploying it for either of those purposes, which can be good because that shit is tacky.

Handing out a company card with an outline of a sexy lady most likely hasn’t been problems for many people, exactly what i am trying to say is actually ensure that is stays enjoyable. You’ve probably a mullet, but that does not mean you must become oneâ??this way business isn’t always in the front. Have a great time, end up being fun, you’re fun, you appear fantastic for the reason that top!

Be discreet.

I understand i recently told you to do this, but now i’ll show never to. Subtlety excellent, not to the level where a girl doesn’t have idea you’re interested in their. Flirt, end up being just a little suggestive,

inform the woman she actually is cuteâ??thereisn’ one that doesn’t like being informed that they are attractive.

Bold movements tend to be admirable whenever executed properly.

Just last year I was operating the first conference of my personal college’s Queer ladies’ Advocacy Committee, and a female wandered in belated. We were going around the bedroom bringing in ourselves and stating the reason we happened to be into the entity in question. Although many girls responded, “i’m _____, and that I’m right here because in my opinion in visibility/outreach/magic,” this lady introduced by herself and said, “I’m here because i do believe Katrina is actually lovely.”


We sought out afterwards that night.

You should be mindful with overt statements such as this however.

As easily too be viewed confident and outbound, you’ll be able to be looked at totally cray-cray.

These techniques are brief attention-grabbers, maybe not a continuing way of connection.

Use linesâ?¦bad types.

“Are you the water? Because i really want you, now.” avoid these, everybody knows they may be traces! And even worse down, your ex you’re talking to know you used it to get different women before. This may perhaps not, in fact, get you an invitation into anybody’s pantsâ??it probably will not even get you an invitation into a discussion. Notwithstanding the fact that I’m composing this how-to tips guide on picking right on up girls, i do want to focus on the significance of that all girls will vary! Therefore you shouldn’t come at these with simple lines. Anyone who you are seeking must certanly be the just intimate focus at that very moment; flirting with some body you’re not interested in simply because it can be done is usually boring and pretty unsatisfying.

Be too drunk.

Let’s confess it: becoming slightly inebriated is temping if you are wanting to fight off that girl-on-girl stress. This is certainly easy to understand and in most cases enabled of the simple fact that meeting different lesbians is a thing that tends to take place in very social options.

It really is cool to need to calm the nervousness, but do not let it get past an acceptable limit, for the reason that it sometimes get messy. Virtually.

You can buy this lady a drank, but if you discover that you are really claiming the phrase â??drank’ out loud as a noun, you might have obtained one way too many of them

.No any loves becoming sloppily hit on, and you are not producing a first perception by spilling the alcohol and slurring the terms. You’ll probably feel embarrassed about it afterwards anyway, so save every person. Know your own limits. Should you decide go beyond them, that’s fineâ??there’s nothing wrong with only having per night out with buddies.

Be an asshole.

Everybody knows we are conditioned to associate some body getting playfully mean along with you using them being curious, and quite often that’s the instance. And sometimes it’s not. Unexpected teasing is okay, especially if you learn this lady already, but excessive usage of this will go embarrassingly awry.

Flaunt the promiscuity.

I was planning to contact this â??Don’t be a ho,’ but the usage of that word seemed in some way feministly unpleasant, therefore get the point. There is something are said for making slightly doing the creative imagination. Booty dancing in gold lame short pants does not scream “date me!” But possibly that isn’t what you’re shopping for, whereby, do it.

Be showy.

No bragging, no ridiculous lesbian bling (Really don’t have any idea what that will feature), without insisting on purchasing everyone’s every thing after they refuse many times. It really is shameful and unsightly and often only a little funny, not in how you want. You don’t need to put material circumstances around to win somebody over. Unless you’re attempting to be an Autostraddle intern’s sugar mama, in which case we can probably chat afterwards. Kidding. Mainly.

Imagine you’re Shane.

You aren’t! No one is, truly. Because discover the fact:

Shane isn’t real.

Yeah, chick magnets are present, however you constantly realize skinny woman with all the straightened locks plus the eyeliner brooding inside corner considering she actually is in the L term. She actually is perhaps not, and everybody knows. Besides,

being a lesbian member isn’t some thing you choseâ??it picks you

, so that it’ll happen when it’s intended to be, of course not, the player thing gets method of old anyway.


Get frustrated.

Scarcely anybody’s batting a thousand with regards to obtaining chicks. You’re usually probably need to be ready to get declined, particularly when all them precious ladies apparently have girlfriends. Never go on it really, particularly because youare going to end up being rejecting individuals also. When it’s not right, then it’s perhaps not correct. There are many girl-on-girls available to choose from waiting to be Autostraddled, thus move out truth be told there to get onto it!

Images thanks to: The beautiful and talented Rachel Horesovsky.

Before you go!

It prices money to make indie queer mass media, and frankly, we require even more users in order to survive 2023

As thanks for VIRTUALLY keeping united states live, A+ people get access to extra content material, extra Saturday puzzles, and!

Would you join?

Terminate at any time.

Join A+!